Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Information Sharing: What is it and How does it Work?

What is Information Sharing?
Information sharing is a service offered in Scotland as a way of anonymously passing information about sexual assaults to the police. If you don't want the police to know your identity, then you can call Rape Crisis Scotland (RCS) on 08088 01 03 02 and give a statement about the assault, either on the phone, or you can arrange to go in and see a member of RCS staff in person. RCS will pass your statement to the police. They will take your name and contact details, but they will never share this information with the police without your permission.

The police won't investigate or prosecute the crime because they don't have your personal details – but it will be saved in an intelligence database. If the person/people you have named in your report are linked to another crime, either one they've already committed or one that they commit in future, then RCS will be notified, and then RCS will notify you. This notification is pretty brief – as far as I'm aware it's literally just "the police have indicated that they would like to speak to you" – and you can choose whether you would like to speak to them or not.

No, information sharing on its own cannot result in your assailant being charged. But many abusers are repeat offenders, and your statement gives information that police could find useful in another investigation on the same person. The knowledge that there have been multiple assaults by the same person sometimes prompts people to go ahead and talk to the police, too.

It's worth noting that in Scotland you can't report a sexual assault to the police without giving your name. You can get anonymous advice from the police, but if you aren’t entirely sure that you want to give the police a statement then I strongly suggest you call RCS. They can arrange a meeting with a police officer for you, at their offices. The reason that I suggest phoning RCS is that I called 101 for anonymous advice, which you should be able to do, and the police came to my door looking for a statement. Rape Crisis are trying to determine whether this is official police policy or not, and I’ll provide an update if/when I get one. Update: Police Scotland stand by their decision, saying that they will pursue anonymous calls if they think that it's in best interests. In particular, the abuse of vulnerable people (minors, and "at-risk adults", a vaguely defined group which can encompass people with physical and mental disabilities or other factors which may make them unable to safeguard their own wellbeing, will likely be pursued by the police under any circumstances.

My experience
I’ve done information sharing, so I thought it might be useful to go through what that involved. This comes with the disclaimer that this isn’t meant to describe every single case - but for me, I’d have felt less apprehension if I had read someone else’s account of the process.

My therapist told me about third party reporting and about Rape Crisis Scotland's helpline after I was sexually assaulted. A couple of weeks later, having a really bad day, I phoned Rape Crisis, just to talk to someone supportive. They offered me an appointment to make a third party report, but they didn't put any pressure on me. They just said "This service is here for you to use, if you want."

I booked an appointment on that phone call. The appointment was to be done over the phone with a trained member of RCS staff. They offered me one in about two weeks' time, saying it would usually be sooner but one of their staff was away. I was told to leave my name and my phone number, and their staff would call me at the time we had agreed. I was told to leave a couple of hours free for the call, as the whole procedure normally takes 1-2 hours. (Note that you can get slots outside business hours.)

I changed my mind before the appointment date. The Fear got too much, so I phoned RCS up and cancelled. The staff member I spoke to said "That's fine, if you ever want to report in future then you can always make another appointment." There was no attempt to convince me to proceed with reporting.

It took a while (and a lot less self-doubt) before I called again. The helpline was busy when I called, so I left a message asking for an appointment to do third party reporting. They called me back within half an hour and asked when I was available. I took an evening slot four days away.

A member of RCS staff called me at that time, on a withheld number. She explained how the information sharing system worked, how my details would be kept separately, and so on, as I’ve outlined above. Then she asked if I still consented to the process. I said yes.

She asked me if I knew what date the assault had taken place, and roughly what time. She asked me to talk through what happened. She just let me talk non-stop until I was done, making the odd encouraging noise but not interrupting. Apparently this is Not Normal, and a lot of people need to do multiple sessions to finish their statement. When I was finished with my story, she returned to the point where I mentioned experiencing dissociative amnesia (trauma-related memory loss) just to check that there wasn’t anything else that had come into my head. Then, she checked there wasn’t anything else I wanted to say, and she read the report she had written whilst I was talking back to me. I had said a few things out of order, and they were mixed up, so I clarified those points, and she read the statement through again for me to approve. I gave quite a lot of detail, but you can choose the level of detail you pass to the police. After that, she asked me about the perpetrator - name, what he looks like, do I know his address, date of birth, job? She checked she had my email address and phone number correct, and agreed that if the name I had given didn’t turn up any hits in the police database then she would call me in a few weeks - just so that I wasn’t left wondering.

It was a draining process, but it wasn’t scary dealing with RCS. They were very kind and compassionate, and didn’t put any pressure on me whatsoever. Talking to them is also great because they can put you in touch with loads of other organisations for emotional support or practical support or reporting options.

Rape Crisis Scotland - for info and support relating to sexual assault. There's not much on information sharing, though, so if you want more info, I suggest that you call their helpline (08088 01 03 02 open daily 6pm-midnight) or email support@rapecrisisscotland.org.uk
Support to Report is an advocacy service for anyone looking to report sexual assault and is linked to the Glasgow Rape Crisis centre. It's open 24 hours a day. Call 08088 00 00 34 or phone the police non-emergency number, 101, and ask for Support to Report.

Mental Health Support Following Sexual Assault (Scotland)

There are a number of places which can provide mental health support following an assault. This isn't a complete list, of course: if you want to look up more organisations yourself, you could start with this list on the Rape Crisis Scotland website.

Rape Crisis Centres
Rape crisis centres can support you in a huge number of ways, and despite the name, they're not just for crises. They have helplines which you can call for emotional support as well as practical support (such as where to get medical help, discussing and facilitating reporting options, accommodation.) They can usually arrange longer-term counselling too. The Rape Crisis Scotland helpline is open 6pm - midnight every day, 08088 01 03 02. Email support also available.

There are also local services around the country; you can find your closest here. Their helplines usually have more limited opening hours, often within business hours.

Some people have asked me whether Rape Crisis services also support men, as they were historically very female-oriented. In recent years, Rape Crisis Scotland has had a massive drive for inclusivityand men are welcomed on the national helpline. A couple of the local centres, however, are women-only. If you want to speak to a service aimed specifically at men, you can get in touch with
Survivors UK for support by web chat or SMS
Breathing Space for general mental health support, open to everyone but aimed at men. Call 0800 83 85 87, 6pm-2am Mon-Thurs, 6pm-6am Fri-Mon

Domestic Abuse Help Services
Scottish Women’s Aid have a helpline open 24 hours a day at 0800 027 1234. They can also provide ongoing counselling. Women only.

Abused Men in Scotland Helpline open 9am-4pm, Mon-Fri, 08088 00 00 24. They can provide one-to-one support but their only office is in Edinburgh. Men and non-binary people only.

They don’t solely deal with sexual assault, but if you need mental health crisis support, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, email jo@samaritans.org or find your closest branch on their website.

Your GP/NHS Support
If you receive medical care following an assault, then you should be offered ongoing mental health support. Even if you didn't receive medical care directly after an assault, you may want to let your GP know. They can refer you (more normally, give you the details to self-refer) to your local mental health service, or to a specialised sexual assault service. Personally, I've found that the type of referrals I've received from my GP has varied between local authorities: it seems to depend on the available resources in that area, and even where specialised sexual assault resources are available I've not always been directed to them. So it's useful to have an idea what's available in your area.

In Glasgow, you can self-refer to Sandyford Counselling and Support Services (SCASS) by calling 0141 211 6700. The services available vary in different parts of the country: if you would rather self-refer than go to your GP then you can find your local sexual health clinic here.

Private Therapy
Private therapy has upsides and downsides (other than cost). It maximises your level of control over who you talk to, what subjects/methods they specialise in, and when you can see your therapist (many offer appointments outwith business hours and offer initial appointments within a week). It also means you're free to go and see someone else if you feel they're not right for you. But you do require a certain degree of motivation to choose and book your own treatment.

Finding a kink-aware therapist: Pink Therapy is a directory of UK therapists who are experienced in working with alternative sexualities, including kinky and poly people. Then again, googling "kink friendly counselling $location" may serve you just fine.

This assumes that kink awareness is your main search criterion. You may want to look for, say, a trauma or sexual assault specialist, ask upfront what they know about kink, and decide whether you're happy with the response. Just because someone isn't kink-aware doesn't mean they won't be compassionate or open-minded; it does mean you may have to spend some time educating them if it's relevant to you. Here's a Pink Therapy article on choosing a therapist.

In Glasgow and surrounding area: There are relatively few local therapists with any kind of training or awareness surrounding BDSM. Here are a couple I know of. Typical rates are about £45/hr, some offer reduced rates for people with low incomes.
Allister Murdoch (also works from Edinburgh)
Tina Clark
Louise Crockert

Skype/phone therapy: If you don't live in the Central Belt and specifically want to see someone kink-friendly, you may not have any options. Regardless of where you are in the country, if you're open to Skype/phone therapy, you will open up a lot more options. There are a number of therapists in London who actually specialise in dealing with kinky people. Note that you will pay the usual "London premium": prices tend to be £60-110 an hour.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Activities Worksheet for Negotiation

Here's another useful resource for pre-scene negotiation. A huge list of kink activities, which was compiled based on material from a kink workshop. It's a nice complementary resource to the negotiation checklist I posted before - which talks a lot about setting up a scene, but doesn't get into much detail on kinky activities.

Me and my partner really like using lists like this. When we were finding our feet, it helped us work out what we wanted to try, and where our interests overlapped. We still go through an activities list every so often: it's interesting to keep track of how we've changed over the years, and it often prompts us to discuss aspects of kink that we might not have otherwise. Which can be fun. And sexy.

It's ordered alphabetically. Why not by category? Firstly, because categories like "D/s" or "sensation play" can be quite subjective. Secondly, to make you think carefully about every option in turn.

Here's a link to the spreadsheet.

Have fun.

Saturday, 3 December 2016

BiTastic! Consent Workshop Summary

Today, about 25 of us got together at BiTastic! to discuss consent. I put together a sheet of prompts, which you can find here – but it wasn't really needed, as the discussion flowed for the full hour with virtually no prompting.

We started off talking about ways you can improve safety when playing, unrelated to the larger community. All the topics you might expect came up - safewords, negotiation, references - but it was pointed out that a lot of these things might not be common knowledge to people who are exploring kink for the first time and aren't part of a kink community. I reckon that this probably isn't an issue for most of the community, but it's something I'd want to take into account during future kinky activism.

I asked what people thought that the commonly used statement that "the scene is self-policing" actually means. The common view was that it actually means nothing, because, well, the scene doesn't manage to police itself very well at all.

We discussed why this was so. One of the points I found the most interesting was about the lack of clarity from people who run clubs or events as to their rules and policies. It was suggested that it would be good for clubs to have their rules in clear sight, and to be open about what sanctions they impose for different violations. We usually assume any sanction will be a warning or a ban, but people suggested that only allowing people to play under DM supervision, or only allowing people to play with a written negotiation displayed where a DM could read it, could also be interim measures used for those situations where abuse allegations are flying around.

Another question posed: why don't we, as a community, get involved in the setting of rules and boundaries at our events? Why do we leave it in the hands of event organisers? I mean, I don't suppose that anyone has been calling for a community discussion on rules, but it is a way that people could have more power to determine what they consider acceptable behaviour in their community. Forcing event leaders to be accountable to a set of rules determined by the group isn't easy and certainly isn't something I expect will happen – but in the event that I'm hosting future munches, I will create and openly post a policy surrounding consent violations, and invite people to question/amend it to what they think is fair.

Before we left, I put this question to the group:
If your consent was violated by someone on your local scene, where would you go to report? What do you think the outcome would be and would this be satisfactory for preventing further abuse? Police? Rape crisis/third party reporting? People who run local clubs/munches? Your peer group? Friends or partners of the abuser? FetLife?
And for the first time in an hour there was complete silence in the room. Nobody had a good answer as to what they would do to report an assault. Only one or two people said they would feel comfortable with going to the police, and nobody had a good answer as to how they would report within the community. Which leaves abusers with a terrifying lack of accountability for their actions.

Some other really interesting things came out of the day. Notably, I had a really good talk with people from sexual health charities HIV Scotland and SX, and they're interested in doing talks specific to the kink community. We had a good discussion about transmission of STIs and blood-borne infections via toys. Would anyone be interested in SX doing a talk for the community on sexual health and kink?

BiTastic! workshop materials

Today, I facilitated a workshop at BiTastic!, about consent and safety in the kink community. I know some people didn't get the handouts I produced (too many people turned up - what a lovely problem!) so you can find a Word copy of the handout here, or see the text below.

BiTastic! Workshop - Safety and Consent Violations in the Kink Community


In this workshop, we’ll be discussing consent violation and abuse in kinky relationships and communities. We’ll talk about safety when playing and when interacting on the BDSM scene, examine the common perception that kink communities are “self-policing” and discuss whether communities could do more to protect their members.

House rules
  • Respect other people - this is a safe space to share ideas. Don’t interrupt others or use offensive language.
  • Some attendees may be using pseudonyms to protect their privacy. If you know someone’s real name/workplace/personal circumstances, respect their privacy. And remember not to acknowledge anyone you meet here if you see them out and about (unless you categorically know it’s okay to do so), as you may unintentionally out them.
  • Everyone in the room may have past experiences of consent violation. Please be considerate when sharing personal experiences. If you must illustrate a point with your own experience, preface it with a content warning. A copy of the agenda for this workshop is available so that you can check for potential triggers. Remember BiTastic!’s general rule: you can leave and re-enter the room at any time.
  • This workshop’s focus is consent; it is not a technical health and safety talk for risk reduction during different types of play.
  • We’re going to discuss:
    • The safeguards the kink community uses to ensure no limits are violated during play
    • How public spaces and interaction with the kink community factor into our strategies for staying safe
    • The “self-policing” trope - reasons why the kink community adopts this method of policing - does it work? How does it break down?

Personal Safety
  • Trust and consent during play:
  • Kink generates intimacy because it involves the shared transgression of boundaries - social norms, personal fears, physical limits.
  • What does a consent violation look like to kinky people?
  • The BDSM community uses lots of strategies for ensuring that participants in a scene are safe and consenting. What strategies do you use?
  • Additional handout: negotiation checklist

Safety on the Public Scene
  • What safety nets can socialising with other kinky people provide?
  • “The scene is self-policing”: commonly used line regarding the treatment of abuse on the scene. What do you think it means?
    • That people will call out abuse when they see it?
    • That abusers will be barred from events or socially stigmatised?
    • That others, especially new participants, will be warned about abusers?
  • Let’s discuss some hypothetical scenarios and see what you'd do in them.
    • You’re at a club and you see two people you don’t know doing a rope scene. The top grabs the bottom’s genital region. This is against club rules and a DM hasn't noticed. What would you do? What would you do if, at a later date, you saw a different bottom negotiating a scene with the same top? What would you do if the top was your friend? 
    • You’re at a club and you see two people you don't know doing an impact scene. The bottom’s body language suggests that they are having fun but the top is striking them hard in the lower back, which you know cannot be safe. What would you do?
    • You see someone at a fetish club squeeze someone else’s bottom outwith a scene. They look uncomfortable, and you don’t know if they know the person who squeezed their bottom. Do you say something, and if so, to whom?
    • You have started dating someone new you met on the scene. A friend tells you that your new partner has been accused of consent violations in the past. Someone told your friend about your partner’s history a long time ago, and your friend can't remember who told them. What would you do? Now, let’s say that someone close to your friend says your partner has assaulted them - what would you do then?
    • A friend has been accused of consent violations, but says that the person making the accusations is trying to falsely discredit them. You know that your friend has been involved in heated disputes on FetLife lately and that the attacks have become very personal. Who do you believe?
  • If your consent was violated by someone on your local scene, where would you go to report? What do you think the outcome would be and would this be satisfactory for preventing further abuse?
    • Police?
    • Rape crisis/third party reporting?
    • People who run local clubs/munches?
    • Your peer group? Friends or partners of the abuser?
    • FetLife?
The Kink Community and the Police Force
  • As a community, we need to be able to report the nonconsensual without fearing prosecution for the consensual.
  • Note that there is no case law on prosecuting BDSM in Scotland. Legally one cannot consent to assault. Waivers and written negotiations do not change this.
  • Is it all bad?
    • Rape Crisis Scotland are improving their understanding of the kink community and working out if there are gaps in their services.
    • Third party reporting is now available in Scotland. This means that a crime can be reported to staff who are trained to help you, but whom you may be more comfortable talking to than the police. The report is passed to the police but your details are not. If police databases turn up other reports on the perpetrator, you will be notified.
Other resources
  • Rape Crisis Scotland - you can find your local rape crisis centre at rapecrisisscotland.org.uk. Free helpline is available to provide help for anyone who has experienced sexual violence at any point in their life. Third-party reporting of sexual assault can be arranged via the helpline. Helpline is free and open every day, 6pm to midnight, at 08088 01 03 02.
  • Third-party reporting is also available at adult retailer Luke and Jack, 45 Virginia Street 
  • Terrence Higgins Trust - charity for sexual health. They can provide STI testing in Glasgow City centre as well as a range of advocacy services. Find out more at tht.org.uk

You can find this worksheet, a negotiation checklist and updates on my activities at consentiskey.blogspot.co.uk.

My thanks to
  • Sam Rankin and the Equality Network, for giving me the chance to produce this workshop
  • Sandie Barton and Rape Crisis Scotland, for their advice and support
  • Mistress Cordelia at the Glasgow Dungeon, for her help and input

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Negotiation Checklist

Find a printable version here.

I wrote this negotiation checklist for my workshop at BiTastic! This list will never manage to cover every aspect of negotiation, but I’ve tried to make it as complete as possible (with the exception of checklists for very specific types of play like suspension bondage or sharps play). You’ll probably want to pick and choose the parts of this list that are relevant to you and your play partner. Distribute as you wish.

My thanks to the FetLifers who suggested edits to this. You can find the original post here.

Deciding whether to play
  • What are each of you looking for from this scene? Do you/your wants seem compatible?
  • How well do you know the person?
  • Can get references from former play partners.
  • Background checking: Remember that nobody is obliged to give you personal information, and I would not advocate this invasion of privacy if I was not considering putting myself in a hazardous position with an individual. Also, it is a significant consent violation to share this information with other scene members or to “out” someone. However, you can consider corroborating that someone is who they say they are by looking at
    • Someone’s FetLife profile; writings, posts they make in groups
    • Google search - names, email addresses
    • Facebook and LinkedIn profiles (can often be found using email addresses)
    • Pipl.com collects details that are public on social networks, news articles and public records. Similar paid-for tools can search criminal databases.
    • Remember that it’s fine to say no at any time for any reason. It’s also fine for a potential play partner to ask you why you’re saying no, and it’s fine for you to withhold that information.
Negotiation methods
  • Negotiation is typically done outwith “scene headspace”, with partners not acting within a D/s or top/bottom dynamic.
  • Negotiating in advance of meeting to play is useful.
  • Checklists giving different activities can provide a starting point for discussing interests.
  • Some people prefer to have negotiations written down so that they are unambiguous - even a text message confirming safewords
  • It’s advisable to consider limits as fixed during pre-scene negotiation - in the middle of a scene, people may be incoherent or disinhibited, so they may agree to things that they wouldn’t have during pre-scene negotiations.

  • Not quite negotiation but certainly pre-scene preparation you should consider and agree to if playing with someone new/unknown.
  • Set up a safe call. Tell a trusted person where you are going and who you will be there with. Arrange for them to call you at certain times (whilst you are there/when you should be home). State to play partner that these calls are scheduled.
  • If play partner consents, useful to take a photo of play partner’s driving license and send it to a trusted person.

  • Private or public?
  • How are you going to get there and back? “Drop” after play can leave players disoriented and vulnerable so driving/going home soon thereafter may be inadvisable
  • Private 
    • At home? Hotel? Privately hired dungeon space?
    • May wish to set up a safe call
  • Public
    • Make sure you know the rules of the play space and what play is acceptable
    • Also good to have an idea of equipment and space available, and ambience of space. Loud/quiet? Busy?

Physical conditions
  • Ask in general: any health concerns or medications?
  • Are you well-fed and hydrated?
  • May want to ask specific prompts as people may not have considered everything
    • Heart conditions
    • Diabetes
    • Low blood pressure, history of fainting or dizziness
    • Circulation problems
    • Epilepsy
    • Mobility limitations and physical injuries
    • Piercings - some may be tender months after piercing, may catch on floggers etc
    • Existing bruises or skin injuries
    • Chronic pain
  • Medications?
    • Aspirin, blood pressure medications?
    • Painkillers?
    • Inhalers - do you need them close by during play?
Mental health
  • Triggers - even if you don’t think they’ll come up. How do you react if triggered?
  • Headspace during play - how do you react in general? Do you fight back? Do you often cry/say no? Become nonverbal? 
  • Language: any no-go areas? (Gendered insults, comments on appearance…)
Health and safety
  • STI risks
    • Intravenous drug use
    • Sexual practices - nonmonogamy? Unbarriered sex? Blood play?
    • Depending on type of play (and not just play involving sex), may want to get STI tested
  • Past this, list is most certainly incomplete - questions to ask will largely depend on type of play
    • Care of toys - happy with partner’s practices?
    • Rope safety
    • Sharps safety
    • Impact play safety
  • Regardless of the type of play - do you have the appropriate kit for if something goes wrong? This doesn’t just include kit to deal with in-scene mishaps (eg a first-aid kit) but items to deal with emergencies like having to evacuate the building.
  • Common to use “traffic light system” - red, yellow, green - but describe what those mean to you. Does yellow mean “stop and talk to me” or “don’t hit any harder”? Does red mean “stop everything now and get me out of where I am now” or “stop what you just did”?
  • Does “no” actually mean no, or does only a safeword mean no? 
  • Do you prefer to talk to your partner directly during a scene, and have safewords only as a backup? 
  • Do you go nonverbal during play? If so, does your partner need to check in with you?
  • Using gags: agree on hand signals/hold a ball which can be dropped instead of a safeword
  • In public: what are house safewords? Usually yelling RED or SAFEWORD will work regardless.
  • Also in public: do you need a nonverbal safeword if it’s noisy?
The play itself
  • Who’s topping? Who’s bottoming? Is there any chance of switching?
  • Do you want a spotter? 
  • How long are you playing for?
  • Any sexual contact? (Venue permitting)
  • Are you happy to play if any alcohol/drugs have been consumed? (Venue permitting)
  • What type of play? Limits for each (bottom and top)
  • Bondage/sensory deprivation?
  • Pain? If so, what types? Thuddy/stingy/scratchy? How much pain? Do you need a warm-up?
  • Humiliation?
  • Roleplay?
  • Specific fetishes?
  • Sensation play? Are you ticklish? Sensitive to touch, smell, noise?
  • Is it okay to leave marks? If so, where?

Drop and Aftercare
  • Both tops and bottoms can drop after play - plan accordingly
  • Often need warm comfortable clothing, hot drink, sugary snack to bring blood sugar back up
  • Is physical contact important to you, too? Is your play partner willing to provide it, and if not, can someone else?
  • Will you need care for longer than a few hours? If so - arrange before play.
  • If you’re used to private play, remember that playing in public can be very different - many people find that drop seems more intense/problematic in public.
  • Follow up the next day - check on each other’s mental state, get feedback on scene. Drop can also affect players several days after a scene - good manners to keep checking in (and perhaps see how bottoms are healing)

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

BiTastic! Glasgow, December 3rd

BiTastic! is a workshop day for the bisexual community and allies, which is being held at Drumchapel community centre on Saturday 3rd December. They're running a range of workshops and activities to do with bisexual identity.

I'm running a workshop at BiTastic. We’ll be discussing consent violation and abuse in kinky relationships and communities. We’ll talk about safety when playing and when interacting on the BDSM scene, examine the common perception that kink communities are “self-policing” and discuss whether communities could do more to protect their members.

The workshop will last for one hour, most likely at the end of the day (so you could still go shopping at the Alternative and Burlesque Fair at the QMU beforehand!) The organisers are very kink-friendly, and will welcome people of all orientations to come to my workshop and to the event as a whole. Dress code: you can dress up a bit, but keep it PG - it's an inclusive event but there will be kids attending (the kink workshop itself is 18+). Chests and genitals covered for all genders, as a minimum, but absolutely no uniforms (police, medical, military and so on) as that may make people uncomfortable.

Here's the event website. Buy tickets here (tickets are £0-15, income-based sliding scale). So please, sign up. Tell your friends. The organisers are also looking for volunteers to help throughout the day, so do fill in a form on their website if you're interested in helping out.

Get in touch with me if you have comments or topics you would like to cover.
  • You can leave an anonymous comment on this blogpost.
  • You can comment on my FetLife post or send me a PM on FetLife. Anything you say will be taken in confidence.
  • You can fill in this comment form, which allows you to remain anonymous if you choose.

What's this blog for?

I've been active on my local kink scene for a couple of years. I love this community, but the more time I spend here, the more I see its problems surrounding consent violations and sexual assault.

Recently, I discussed my concerns with a contact at the Equality Network. The Equality Network is an LGBTI rights charity, but they're very kink-friendly, too. And they offered me the opportunity to lead a workshop on the topic of consent violations at an upcoming event in Glasgow, BiTastic! (more on this to follow.)

And so it's snowballed. I've suddenly found myself pursuing ten different lines of inquiry at once. Questionnaires and talks with different organisations and and and... I suspect that this is going to go further than just doing one workshop.

This blog will serve as a repository for links to questionnaires, workshop programmes, and progress updates. Much of the same information will probably get cross-posted to FetLife, but that requires an account for access.